Disney's The Little Mermaid (Live-Action)

[James]

The fishy puns make think that wasn't entirely serious!

It was not!

[EricJ]

What I can’t see is how the filmmakers can’t see that what they’re doing doesn’t have the value of the originals. I mean, people like Zemeckis and Marshall and not idiots. Surely they can see these projects as not going the right way. But then, I guess, ego dictates that they think that can make them "better" or more "realistic", when they don’t need to be. Whoever thought TLM would be improved by adding 52 minutes of mostly extra talking to it??

The fact that DreamWorks now thinks they have to do a live-action Dragons because every kid on the schoolyard is making a live-action animated IP sort of emphasizes how even Disney doesn't know why they're making these anymore.
Little Mermaid was supposed to join the Big 90's Four (remember, "Completism") back when they were still getting famous directors to do them, but now that it's all about remarketing Lilo and The AristoCats out of stalled merchandising, it's sort of a throwback by now.

[Ben]

I have a feeling when we all finally get to see this that most of us won’t be able to wait for it to…

Fin.

[EricJ]

I'm tempted to do a Pinocchio-style spoiler about how they messed up Eric's battle with Ursula at the end, but...let's just say, if you've seen that "Peter Pan & Wendy" D+ ad, where Peter doesn't just come to the rescue against the pirates at the end, but a big-buildup scene where Tiger Lily has to be the one to help him ride to the rescue, you can probably see this one coming.

[James]

New York Times review isn't great either. But apparently one of the writer's issues was it was missing "kink"?!

https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1662464952324567040

The new, live-action “The Little Mermaid” is everything nobody should want in a movie: dutiful and defensive, yet desperate for approval. It reeks of obligation and noble intentions. Joy, fun, mystery, risk, flavor, kink — they’re missing. The movie is saying, “We tried!” Tried not to offend, appall, challenge, imagine. A crab croons, a gull raps, a sea witch swells to Stay Puft proportions: This is not supposed to be a serious event. But it feels made in anticipation of being taken too seriously. Now, you can’t even laugh at it.

[Farerb]

They most likely didn't mean that in a sexual context.

[Ben]

[Daniel]

Scuttlebutt in all its glory:



Painful.

[Ben]

Absolutely no need for that to be a "song", or whatever that was.

It’s just the morning report, it could be said in two lines just as quickly and more easier on the ears than this mess. I actually never want to hear that again in my life.

It feels like they actually chucked that together in less time than it takes to go through. Painful indeed.

[ShyViolet]

That was like a nightmare.

[Ben]

What’s worse is that important plot points are lost in a deluge of words that people will just tune out of because it’s just noise. I know things are often personal opinion, but this choice is just bad, awful, terribly done. So *not* a music moment (I still can’t bring myself to call it a "song"). Especially this one. It’s actually embarrassing.

[gaastra]

Asylum films strikes again this time poking fun of little mermaid--but this time made it animated.

[Ben]

That is actually, factually, betterer than the live-action movie.

[Dacey]

Guys, it’s like a 90 second song. Annoying, sure, but hardly what I would call one of the worst I’ve ever heard.

[EricJ]

Okay, their CGI has improved somewhat since TrollLand and CarGo.
Not by MUCH, granted, but...

I confess to being more surprised to know that Steve Guttenberg was still alive.