Disney's Pinocchio (Live-Action)

[EricJ]

Oh well... Time to move on to the next forgettable crap. What is it? Hocus Pocus? Disenchanted? Peter Pan?

Assuming we don't get Snow White & the Pointless Copyright Extension in the next six weeks, believe that would be "Hocus Pocus 2: Who's Laughing at Cheap Sausage-Grinder 90's Disney Comedies NOW, Huh??"

(And then "Disenchanted: Aw, C'mon, You Said You Wanted to See One, Back Before Tangled Came Out!")

[Daniel]

I enjoyed the film. Didn't hate it, didn't fully love it. At times it just felt lazy and unambitious.

They added a little backstory to Geppetto which I didn't really care for. Two songs were removed and the new ones they added were very brief, oddly placed and pretty unmemorable. My favorite was Fabiana's. I thought she was a great character but ultimately didn't really add much to the story. The amount of times they alluded to her injury I thought we would get more but it never came. And her puppet made me wonder if it was alive. Like, when it was independent with its movements, and when they say goodbye we clearly hear two voices. Very confusing and bizarre.

The writing was another issue. There were so much unnecessary exposition. Some scenes felt rushed and others dragged on. I thought the Disney clocks were a cute touch, if a bit too meta. Luke Evans Coachman felt like a Jack Sparrow knock-off. There's a moment when he sings his reprise the children behind him lip-sync but there's no sound and it's so weird! They really should've had some practical effects for the clocks. When the kids were smashing them, they're not flinching or showing any real emotion. It's really distracting. Not to mention the fake food.

I was disappointed Pinocchio didn't participate whatsoever at Pleasure Island. He never got tempted to be bad, he just goes around with the wrong people. He's basically perfect from start to finish. As a result, Pinocchio lacks an arc in this version. Cutting the smoking part also adds a plot hole with Monstro later on. Speaking of, I was not of fan of how they did him. And the silliness of making Pinocchio a motorboat. The ending was also anticlimactic. I thought Tom Hanks was good and the new voice of Pinocchio sounded like a dead ringer for the original at times, but I really wanted to love this more. Just missed the mark on what made the original so memorable.

[Ben]

You can’t touch a masterpiece. But I’m still intrigued to check this out this week sometime.

[Farerb]

I've watched the awful new PINOCCHIO trailer, and read the initial and not-surprising negative reviews, and I can't get over this irony:

Walt Disney devoted his career to making films that proved that "cartoons" could truly be ART, and that animation could be the equal of and taken just as seriously as live-action films.

The travesty of a company that bears and desecrates his name remakes his masterpieces as "contemporary" crass films that undermine his legacy one by one, basically saying that the original animated films are NOT good enough for today's audiences, so THERE Walt, we've REmade them as...live-action.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... 0130138364

[Ben]

…we've REmade them as...live-action.

…with animated characters.

[EricJ]

I was disappointed Pinocchio didn't participate whatsoever at Pleasure Island. He never got tempted to be bad, he just goes around with the wrong people. He's basically perfect from start to finish. As a result, Pinocchio lacks an arc in this version.

There's a great documentary on the days of grindhouse B-movies, where John Landis describes their ethic as "Remember that scene in Pleasure Island with 'It's the Ruffhouse, boys, c'mon in and have a scrap'"?

Yeah, I remember. The original Pleasure Island looked SO much like nightmarish devils'-den of temptation for every boys' vice, you knew something was going to go wrong without the Coachman's having to clue us in.
Here, Zemeckis wants a bright, colorful new Main St./Boardwalk-designed Disney theme-park, and undoubtedly, Disney did too.

Which emphasizes one of the bigger unsung problems with remakes: Not just the smoking, but Disney has to fix EVERY bit of un-PC lore for the sake of responsible parents.
I avoided the scene of the seagull that attacks Jiminy now being a helpful sidekick helping Pinocchio waterski ( ), but in Stromboli's puppet show, the funny scenes of a confused Pinocchio suddenly assailed by sexy French and Russian puppets is now replaced by a cute first-crush ballerina puppet, so we'll think he has nice reasons to join the show, rather than being tempted by money for his dad. (So, sort of like that old Filmation version, then...)

Leaving us to ask the same question every copyright extension, "Why remake them if you haven't gotten the old-studio balls to?"
And oh, boy, is THAT going to be a question on the Snow White and Little Mermaid remakes...

[Daniel]

I know the ending was spoiled in another thread, but I did read it before it was removed and I'll just say that's not exactly what happens.

One element I didn't touch on that was mostly the same was the Coachman's henchmen. Well, they're different, but appearance wise they look similar. Definitely more spooky, if a bit random.

I'm also surprised the film didn't tie up a certain loose thread from the original. That would've been cool. Little things that could've made a difference.

[Daniel]

This is pretty funny... note that it's chalk full of spoilers, (and mild language) so if you haven't seen it I would avoid:



The scene at 1.53... oof. That was one of my other issues. They really could've done something else, like maybe have Pinocchio smell cookies and talk to a pastry chef.

[Ben]

Really need to get around to this…but the enthusiasm is just way too dampened…

[EricJ]

And srsly, Pitch, WHAT'S with the "eyes" thing?
I gather it started long, long ago with a joke about Alita: Battle Angel, and then we...just forgot why we were still doing it?

[Bill1978]

I've just always assumed it was a copyright avoidance thing.

[Daniel]

Simply put, it's to grab your attention. Kids especially are more likely to click on videos with big eyes. All about that revenue. Pitch Meeting started it in 2017 with Justice League, two years before Alita was even released...

[ShyViolet]

Joblo’s pretty cool rundown of Bob Z’ s career.

https://youtu.be/m34L5YWUTFQ

[Ben]

As my favourite director (yes, still, despite a wavering loyalty and wish to love his current films more), I kind of dread watching that! But then I still need to watch Pinocchio too, and that seems a scary enough prospect (not to mention redundant thanks to having the ending spoiled…yeah, that still rankles, and a big part of why I haven’t run that yet, as now there just doesn’t seem much point).

[ShyViolet]

It’s actually a pretty balanced look into his career; even with occasional criticism they do say quite a few positive things.